Film: Dark Storm

A movie starring a lesser Baldwin (Stephen, they’re all ‘lesser’ to Alec since he’s been around the longest) who spends the whole film looking vaguely pissed off, or as if he’s trying to do mental arithmetic (like Joey, Matt LeBlanc, in Friends is advised to do when required to show emotion), an expression that probably originates from his manful struggle to spout scientific gobbledegook like ‘I’ve never seen so much dark matter in one place’ as if it actually meant something.

He plays that disaster movie cliché, the one sensible person in the possibly (inevitably) catastrophic scenario battling whatever constitutes the powers that be (the mayor/the government/the corporation/the other scientists), questioning their refusal to act in the face of this certain calamity, usually for reasons of the bottom line, insisting that the town/beach/world be evacuated while there’s still time (time is always of the essence) because there’s going to be a tidal wave/earthquake/tornado/shark attack/solar flare/alien invasion (delete as appropriate).

He will probably be the one to deliver possibly the most used line in any horror/thriller/scifi movie: ‘Let’s get the hell outta here!’ as if anyone would contemplate staying put while the sky falls in.

To top it all, he’s absorbed some ‘dark matter’ himself, as you do, been electrocuted then struck by lightning. No wonder he looks a little peeved.

The plot is nonsensical but the film’s a trip. See the image on the front of the box – that’s the expression Stephen Baldwin wears throughout. Perplexed. Or maybe that’s just his ‘intelligent scientist’ face.